Perseverance

My son, Sam, began his first competitive season of golf this past spring. Although he was mentally prepared to begin and we thought his skillset was ready for this next step, he started behind the competition. Unbeknownst to his father and I, youth competitive golf is cut-throat. The level of play is incredible. Many of the kids started playing in the competitive program years earlier and are shooting par or better. As a result, Sam’s peers let him know he wasn’t up to par. It was emotionally devastating to him. As parents, we could only support, encourage and provide him with opportunities to improve. It broke our hearts to watch him struggle and fall apart. But then, during the summer, he started to change. His skillset and scores started to improve; but what was most astonishing, was the change in his attitude. He learned to remain positive. He began encouraging his peers and to have fun regardless of his score. Finally, he found the drive to never give up. He told me that the best thing he learned from this first year of competitive golf was that “good would always come from [his] hard work, but that sometimes [he] just needed to look for it.” In short, he learned to persevere.

The meaning of perseverance is hard to fully describe.  It is one thing to know the definition of a word; it is another, to experience it for yourself. The idea of perseverance became a reality for Sam when he was repeatedly faced with failure and had to decide if he was willing to work through the process of improvement. Within the midst of my son’s darkest moments, he struggled to control his thoughts and to overcome the mental defeat he was feeling. We spent lots of time talking about faith, the power of prayer, and learning to trust Jesus within every aspect of his golf game and life. I urged him to pray as he walked the course, to ask Jesus to fill him with peace when he wanted to rage in frustration, and to know— to believe that if he continued to work hard that he would see results—that he needed to remain hopeful that success would come.  It took Sam some time, but ultimately, he learned and began to live the meaning of Romans 5:3-5, “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” By the end of the summer tournament series, Sam was told by several boys whom he had played with, that they had never played with a peer who remained so positive and encouraging in the face of defeat, and who demonstrated a true love of the game. They also told Sam that they really enjoyed playing with him. These complements meant the world to him. It showed him how much he had grown mentally as a player and within his faith, and that perseverance does lead to “good”, but that sometimes you just need “to look for it.”  

This perseverance that blossomed within my son taught me several lessons about life and Jesus’s love for us. First, if you love doing something, it doesn’t matter what others say or how good you are at it, what matters is that you are willing to work hard to improve and persevere through the difficulties. Second, if you work hard, something good will come of it. Sometimes, seeing the silver lining of the bitter moments may be hard to decipher, but it’s there. I also learned that the attitude you maintain during failure, along with how you treat those around you during this time period, provides the world with an in-depth portrayal of your character. To be able to smile and be happy for those who beat you is very difficult and shows an inner strength that too few individuals possess. The bible says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). I have to say, I have rarely found it enjoyable to face trials, but I am learning from my son that there is “joy” when we face trials with Jesus in the lead and doing so will help us grow in our character and faith. Jesus loves us and he will use our failures and perseverance to refine us into the gems he created us to be.

Dear friends, I pray that you will persevere in faith, through the rough moments, and allow Jesus to finish the work he started in you; filling you with hope, love and maturity.